If you’re working towards any goal at the moment – whether you want to get in shape, write a book, or save more money – you will most likely have to make some behavior changes.
Stopping our habitual behaviors and replacing them with more useful ones is like trying to divert a high-speed train. We have so much momentum behind our current behaviors. The longer we’ve performed the behavior, the more difficult it is to change.
Behavior change is tough, but it is not impossible. If we can understand why we have such a hard time changing and maintaining new behaviors, we can find effective ways to make things a bit easier on ourselves.
Reason 1: Our brains don’t like change
When it comes to behavior change, the brain can be our most formidable foe. Simply put, we are hard-wired to be risk-averse. The brain interprets any deviation from the norm suspiciously, even if the change will have positive benefits. In her book Wired to Resist, neuroscientist Dr. Britt Andreatta reviews some of the cognitive processes that block behavior changes. Here are a few examples:
Mental models- Every day, our brains process countless pieces of information from our environments. In order to streamline this process, our brains pay close attention to predictable patterns. Over time, these predictions create mental models that the brain relies on to quickly assess a situation and decide on a course of action [1]. Some examples of mental models include expectations for what everyday items cost or how people expect others to react to good news [2].
Many of our daily routines are built around our mental models. Changing a mental model takes a lot of energy and sends the brain into defense mode. Resistance to change can be so strong that the brain rejects any information that doesn’t comply with an existing mental model [3].
Energy conservation- Our brains employ all sorts of tactics to save energy. In addition to creating mental models, the brain relies on established neural pathways when deciding on a behavior. You can envision these pathways like the ones that develop in a field after years of footsteps. When you change your habits and routines, your brain needs to forge new neural pathways. You have to expend a lot of energy to divert away from the well-established pathway and even more energy to carve new ones.
Reading this, it can seem that our entire biology is designed to prevent any type of change. However, these same cognitive processes can help eliminate undesired behaviors and cement cultivated behaviors. We just have to know how to get our brains on our side.
Reason 2: We are bad at estimating
Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.
~ Bill Gates
When most people set goals that require behavior changes, they expect to see results in the immediate future. This can lead to poor planning, setting impossible timelines, and making too many changes at once. The planning fallacy is a common reason behind this faulty logic.
The planning fallacy is the tendency to underestimate how long an action or project will take to complete [4]. This fallacy is so strong, that people will even underestimate the length of tasks they’ve completed before!
The planning fallacy is caused by the optimism bias. We tend to believe that the future will have fewer roadblocks or obstacles than in the past. We may also incorrectly believe that we will be able to generate vastly better outcomes.
As a result, we may exclude factors that could derail our progress from our planning. Without a strategy, unexpected distractions can knock us off course and make it even harder to stick with new behaviors.
On the other side, we tend to project our present circumstances onto our future selves. The availability heuristic is a cognitive shortcut our brain uses to assess events and outcomes. When we imagine our future, we see ourselves facing similar challenges with a relatively unchanged skillset [5].
For this reason, we tend to set relatively conservative goals for the future. However, 10 years is more than enough time to make a series of life changes. However, reaching that ultimate end goal will require making important behavior changes for the nine preceding years.
Having a realistic view of behavior change can prevent us from over or underestimating ourselves.
Reason 3: Emotions can override our logic
Strong feelings, whether they are positive or negative, can impact our ability to make rational decisions [6]. Researchers aren’t sure exactly why this happens, but there is some evidence that emotions use up working memory, the cognitive process that helps us complete tasks that require focus.
Emotions can also trigger coping mechanisms that can interfere with behavior changes. For example, we may use procrastination to manage fear, boredom, or uncertainty [7].
Many unhealthy habits, such as overeating, smoking, and mindless scrolling, also have emotional triggers.
It is clear that emotions affect our behavior. Sometimes, we put too much importance on making our emotions and behaviors align.
Imagine that you’ve signed up for a 5k race six months in the future. To reach this goal, you must run for at least 30 minutes every day.
The first few weeks, you’re excited about your goal, and look forward to your daily run. After completing a 15-day streak, you have a bad day at work. You feel down, and just want to lay on the couch. As a result of your emotions, you decide to skip your run that day.
Too many of these days in a row, and you could unravel your progress. Even though you know you need to run every day to have a chance of meeting your goal, you allow your emotions to dictate your behavior.
To overcome this, we have to remember that the relationship between emotions and behavior goes both ways- our behaviors can also influence our emotions. If you had decided to run, as usual, you would probably not feel down after you were done [8]. The exercise would give you a boost, and your mood would probably improve.
Rather than letting our emotions direct our behavior, we need to remind ourselves that performing our target behavior can also shift our emotions.
Reason 4: We expect perfection
Behavior change is often visualized as a staircase. Every step you take moves you closer to your goal. In reality, behavior change has ups and downs. Regressing is just as much a part of the process as progressing.
The Transtheoretical Model breaks down behavior change into six separate stages, and we can move back and forth between these stages at any time [9].
| Stages of Change | |
|---|---|
| Precontemplation | Not aware of a problem, not interested in making any behavior change |
| Contemplation | Aware there is a problem, but are not actively working towards behavior change |
| Preparation | Preparing to make a behavior change to address the problem may make an action plan |
| Action | Continuously perform behavior changes to address the problem |
| Relapse | Fall back into old behavior patterns or abandon the desired behavior |
| Maintenance | Avoid temptations that interfere with behavior changes |
When we are attempting to change a deeply ingrained behavior, relapse is possible at any stage. However, we can also re-enter the process at any stage. Getting off track is practically inevitable, so the best you can do is plan for it.
Reason 5: We lack commitment
When we write our goals down and make an action plan, it may feel like we are making a commitment to behavior change. However, in behavioral psychology, commitments are more than just promises.
A commitment device is a tool that links a positive outcome or negative consequence directly to your behavior [10]. You enter into the commitment device willingly to prevent or avoid temptations.
Commitment devices often come in three forms:
Accountability: A social agreement to follow through on your intended behavior change. You could agree to meet up with a friend for weekly runs or share your behavior goals on social media. Accountability can also take the form of responsibility. For example, adopting a dog would force you to walk more.
Loss aversion: Commitment devices can also serve as disincentives for undesirable behaviors. If you want to build your savings, an account that penalizes you for withdrawals could help you change your spending habits. You could also make an upfront financial investment, such as a year-long gym membership, which would be a financial loss if you don’t follow through.
Friction: This commitment device makes it harder to avoid the desired behavior or engage in unwanted behavior. If you get distracted while studying, you can put blockers on your phone and laptop to prevent you from browsing social media. Buying only healthy groceries or purchasing smaller packages of unhealthy foods are also forms of friction.
Incorporating several commitment devices into a behavior change plan increases the likelihood that you will stick to your goals [11].
3 Ways to Make Behavior Change Easier
As you can see, the brain has many ways to thwart your attempts at behavior change. However, all of your habits and routines that are now ingrained were once new behaviors.
This means that over time, the behaviors you struggle to perform will feel like second nature. Of course, this will not happen overnight. The following tips can increase the chances of making your behavior change stick.
Set yourself up for success
As the Transtheoretical Model of behavior change shows, you are not truly on the path to behavior change until you make a plan.
This clever video by the conservation organization Rare uses an analogy of a rider and an elephant to represent the elements needed in a behavior change plan:
As the video shows, a solid behavior change plan will:
Action plans are most effective when planned backward. This means that you start from your desired end result and then determine which steps you need to achieve this result. Backward planning ensures that you do not miss any crucial steps when working towards your goal.
It also helps you to create a more realistic timeline, as you will have a better idea of what you need to accomplish before maintaining your behavior change is possible.
Start slowly
You may have heard of the phrase cold turkey. It is usually used to describe stopping an unwanted behavior abruptly.
The cold turkey strategy can work well for some behavior changes, but it requires a lot of willpower. You would also have to curate your environment to eliminate temptations.
Getting rid of every bag of chips or ice cream container in your home may be doable, but beyond that, you would have to exercise immense restraint not to give in to your old behaviors.
For this reason, behavior psychologists do not advise the cold turkey method [12]. Gradual, or incremental change, is far easier to implement as it gives you time to create systems that will help you maintain your behavior change.
For example, if you wanted to start a running routine, trying to run for 30 minutes straight on the first day is not the best idea. Instead, start out with 20 minutes of walking and 5 minutes of running. As your endurance builds, you can slowly increase your running time. Not only is this safer and easier to manage, but you are less likely to develop an injury that would set you back.
Small incremental changes are also much less scary to the brain. This lowers the amount of emotional resistance your brain will put up as you move toward your goal.
Embrace failures
While most people who set out to make behavior changes fail, don’t let that discourage you. In fact, understanding why you fail is one of the leading factors of successful behavior change [13].
In the book, Change Anything: The New Science of Personal Success, the authors review six of the most common reasons why behavior change doesn’t stick:
Behavior change is an individual process. While general advice can get you on the right track, how the above reasons defy or support your behavior change is personal to you.
Failures give you a chance to collect data and reflect on your own circumstances. You can then use what you’ve learned to make an even better action plan.
Incorporate a standard reflection exercise into your action plan to help you process failure. The 3 Stages of Failure concept can help you narrow down the reason for your failure and how you can address the problem in the future.
| 3 Stages of Failure | ||
|---|---|---|
| Definition | Possible Solutions | |
| Failure of Tactics | You have a solid plan and vision, but you are still not making progress. | Review your processes, track indicators and measure outcomes, update any strategies that are not useful. |
| Failure of Strategy | The strategy you are using to maintain your behavior change isn’t working. | Get outside help, reduce or lengthen your timeline, test different commitment devices, and reward systems. |
| Failure of Vision | You’re unsure about your why, the factors impacting your behavior, or your outcomes. | Learn your triggers and cravings, visualize your ideal outcome, and review your environment and relationships. |
Failure Reflection Exercise
| What did I do wrong? | What stage of failure is this? | What can I learn from this? | Who/What can help me? | Next steps |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| I want to save money, but I went out with my friends and spent over my budget. | This is a failure of tactics. I have a really good plan, and I know why I want to save money. I just didn’t follow through. | I sometimes feel pressured to spend more money when I am with my friends. I learned that my friends could affect my behavior. | I can let my closest friends know about my savings goals and how they can support me. | Talk to my friends about my savings goals, and only agree to dinner or drinks, but not both. |
Summary
If you’re having a hard time sticking to a new habit or routine, you’re in good company. Nearly all of us struggle with behavior change. However, we can use concepts from behavioral psychology to improve our chances of maintaining our desired behaviors for the long term.
[1] Thagard, Paul. (2010). How Brains Make Mental Models. 10.1007/978-3-642-15223-8_25.
[2] Models, in C., Psychology, Behavioral, & Science, S. (2013, October 4). Mental Model. Communication Theory. https://www.communicationtheory.org/mental-model/
[3] Holtrop JS, Scherer LD, Matlock DD, Glasgow RE and Green LA (2021) The Importance of Mental Models in Implementation Science. Front. Public Health 9:680316. doi: 10.3389/fpubh.2021.680316
[4] Administrator. (2016, January 8). Planning Fallacy (SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY) – iResearchNet. Psychology. http://psychology.iresearchnet.com/social-psychology/decision-making/planning-fallacy/
[5] Kendra Cherry. (2019). How the Availability Heuristic Affects Your Decision Making. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/availability-heuristic-2794824
[6] Jung N, Wranke C, Hamburger K, Knauff M. How emotions affect logical reasoning: evidence from experiments with mood-manipulated participants, spider phobics, and people with exam anxiety. Front Psychol. 2014 Jun 10;5:570. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00570. PMID: 24959160; PMCID: PMC4050437.
[7] Jennifer Sullivan. (2022, April 22). Addressing the Emotional Roots of Procrastination. Edutopia. https://www.edutopia.org/article/addressing-emotional-roots-procrastination/
[8] Noam Shpancer Ph.D. (2010, October 25). Action Creates Emotion. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/201010/action-creates-emotion
[9] Worthington, A. K. (2021). Transtheoretical Model. Ua.pressbooks.pub. https://ua.pressbooks.pub/persuasiontheoryinaction/chapter/transtheoretical-model/
[10] Behavior Institute. (n.d.). Commitment Devices for behavior change – Studies, products, and examples. Www.besci.org. https://www.besci.org/tactics/commitment-devices
[11] Lokhorst, Anne & Werner, Carol & Staats, Henk & E, Dijk & Gale, Jeff. (2011). Commitment and Behavior Change: A Meta-Analysis and Critical Review of Commitment-Making Strategies in Environmental Research. Environmental Research – ENVIRON RES. 45. 10.1177/0013916511411477.
[12] Jennifer Kunst Ph.D. (2011, September 21). There’s Only One Way to Change: Slowly, Over Time. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/headshrinkers-guide-the-galaxy/201109/theres-only-one-way-change-slowly-over-time
[13] Patterson, K. (2012). Change anything : the new science of personal success. Business Plus.
